BLOG: Out of the lions den. Into ... who knows.

The issues of race are highly charged. Speaking out about it can get you hurt.

As I find the thin line that is "treadable", as I aim to leave US behind, I will
catalog my experiences as they occur.

First catalog - I will rewrite the earlier, de-published article on my friend pulling a gun on me,
but first I think there should be some preliminary warnings:

Do Not Trust "White" People
Do Not Seek Approval From White People

First orders of business. Understand that these are social/class labels, not genetic identifiers.

Now, I don't mean to create division (oops).
There are multiple reasons I state these two directives.

One, is that if you follow this site, you will know that it focuses heavily
on the subliminal programming agents used by white supremacy to ensure
racial[class/cultural] imbalance.

Look at what I just said.

I'm not fucking with you.

Read it again.

Again.

Now listen.


Outside of a small community of fairly well-to-do people
who think of themselves as 'conscious',
(which is impossible if they aren't actually screaming out about this injustice),
most people are 'not conscious'.

What this means is that much of their personality, many of their decisions,
much of their ability to interpret and remember information, is deferred to
subconscious activity.

Now, I don't know how subconscious shit works, but I do know this:

There are people who actively prefer to live in illusion than face reality.
Often these are people who have suffered abuse, poor circumstance, etc.

In their eyes they simply put off the death of a loved one they experienced years ago,
or consciously refuse to let go of regret for not doing certain things, or perhaps
truly have something to hide, some dark secret, whatever.

Now, I did not warn against trusting white people that preferred to live in illusion:

a majority of people prefer to live in illusions, with a smaller number NEEDING it

I will illustrate what lead me to this conclusion after some food and a bath.

---

Ok, the experience I just left, with "white" people that I had known for over a decade,
deteriorated so quickly that I had a lot of learning to do. However, one of the last
things said to me would make it all perfectly clear: "Everyone was sleeping with a gun!"
(Except for me.)

So I, as an unarmed person, somehow sparked fear into a group of whites who had guns.
How? By asking them questions, talking to them, which apparently made them think I
was smarter than them, except that when they talked about things they experienced,
or knew about, I would listen, and acknowledge, but, they simply couldn't do the same for me.
Rarely.

EXCEPT if it were with computers, which they needed fixed, but still, they would show their
distrust in my experience with the intonation in their second guesses.

I think I was actually given the #WhiteNod so much in that relationship, that it became their
habit.